crazy sheila

I'm in a good mood today.  (:
I think this is the first day in a few weeks that I've actually been in a genuine good mood.  hopefully tomorrow's good as well.

I have a job interview at Blockbuster tomorrow, but they're not even hiring?  they told me when they called, "we're just calling you for an interview, we're not hiring, we just want to interview people when we are hiring."  great, so this is essentially a waste of both of our time?  oh well.  I have to be there at noon and it's only like, twenty minutes from my house so whatever. 

Math actually went alright tonight.  I sortaaa understood what we were doing and the time went by rather quickly.  I can't say I'm sorry that the semester's half over. 

I'm attaching this picture because I honestly laughed out loud for like, ten minutes over it.  to get the full effect, I suggest looking at the looks on their faces in each frame as you read it.  it's too funny.  (:

anyways.  that makes me laugh every time I see it.  oh gosh. 

I can't wait for friday.  payday and chinese food.  <3  I'm craving chinese food soooo much.  (I think I'm always craving chinese food?) and I really need to get hairdye!  I'm thinking about maybe a light, light caramel brown?  I just need to cover this half blue, half horrendous thing I've got going on.  it's not attractive in any way and I honestly hate it sooo much.  ):  I also need to get an iTunes card and perhaps Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Three (and maybe four too).  I also really need Advil now that the weather's changing again.  ): 

I just feel like laying in bed, all day everyday.  I crawl into my bed and I don't wanna leave it.  I wake up in the morning and I just stay in bed for like, three hours.  it's so comfy and warm. 

I got new fish!  (:  my snail and one of my orange fish died.  ):  so Grandma took me to the pet store and I got two zebra striped fish and a tiny plecko.  I still have Ernie (Bert died), and now I have Felix and Oscar (named after The Odd Couple), and I haven't decided on a name for my plecko.  (suggestions are very welcome!)

I've been feeling ____ lately.  I don't know how to describe how I've been feeling.  ):  I feel like everybody wants me to be something I'm not, and everyone has different ideas about what that is.  my mother wants me to go to University and make a good life for myself.  I understand where she's coming from, but I don't know if I want to go to University?  she wants me to enjoy going to her favourite bars more and be more social.  I can't help that I'm not.  I'd like to be more social and I'd like to meet/get to know new people.  I'm just not like her though.  I want to be more like her; she's so confident and outgoing.  she gets along with everyone and has no problem being around lots of people.  she easily makes friends and she's just so out there.  I'm jealous that Kristian's personality is more like her than mine is.  I'm jealous that both of them are so popular and friendly.  I wish I weren't so shy and afraid of people.  ):

I'm feeling kind of bitter lately as well.  I hardly see anyone anymore and I hardly talk to anyone anymore.  Facebook is extremely boring lately and I feel like I've been forgotten.  blah.  I know I'm being stupid but I really can't deny that I feel like this.  I've been feeling like this for the better part of eight months but during school I didn't feel quite as forgotten because I was around people that I liked to be around and I was rarely ever alone.  it's just been a lonely couple of months with nothing to do and nowhere to go.  I can't wait to get out of here.  hopefully in the fall.  (I really need to get out and mail my transcripts or that's not happening).  I feel like I'm stuck standing in one place (like a fly on the wall, almost?) and the world's moving really fast all around me (without me) and I can't do anything about it.  all I can do is stand here and feel helpless and lost while everyone moves on and knows what they're doing with their lives.  I have no fucking clue.  I want to do everything and nothing.  I want to grow up and yet I want to just crawl into bed and stay there.  I want to be taken seriously but I'm acting so stupid.  I want to live on my own, all alone, but I want to live in a big city where I know lots of people (if only that city weren't Calgary).  I want to go back in time to like, two years ago when I was really happy and didn't care that I had to make big life decisions or get a real job.  I want to be that happy and carefree again. 

my memory is horrible lately.  sometimes I remember things really vividly, and other times I can barely remember what I did five minutes ago.  ):

also, I don't see the big deal about the healthcare bill that recently passed in the US?  I mean, I know I don't know everything about it, but we have socialized (or universal, or are they the same thing?) healthcare here and it works great for us.  the UK has socialized healthcare there and it works great for them.  I think most of Europe has socialized healthcare, actually, and guess what?  it works great for them too.  I think that people are just scared of change and that's what's up. 

I'm attaching a ton of pictures to this entry because I can and because I rarely post pictures for you guys.  so I'll start with my fat dog.  <3 

she's soo cute.  she's taken up Mum's bed while she's gone.  I love her dearly.  <3

and now this is a picture of the giant tub of bubble gum that I got (and also my wonderful striped pillowcase).  <3  

this is a picture of my writing.  I'm not a fan of it, but it's not horrendous either.

and this is a picture of a cute fish at the pet store.  he has giant bulbous eyes that glow different neon colors, a huge head and a teensy body.  he also reminded me a lot of a puppy because he was soo happy looking and he kept wagging his little fishie tail.  (:  he also reminded me a lot of ET. 

this is a picture of my tattoo.  (:  I got it done just over three weeks ago and it's all healed now.  (:  I chose a sunflower not only because they're my favourite flower but also because they're happy, colourful and summery.  I'm super pleased with it (good thing, right?) and I'm really in love with the placement (my right wrist since that picture doesn't show any indication) of it because it's kind of like a little reminder to smile.  (:

I think that that's it for this entry.  I'm tired and I think I'm gonna go to bed early tonight.  goodnight dear ones and keep updated.  <3

- tannikka ♥