notorious thugs

this song is amazing. :)
I actually prefer the Scary Kids Scaring Kids semi-cover to the Biggie original, but it's still amazing. it's only a semi-cover, bcuz SKSK used most of the original song, and then just added onto it. it's so good. :)

my mother is crazy. she was getting angry bcuz (apparently) all we (being my brother and I) ever do is fight with her. I could be wrong when I say this, but I hardly ever fight with her. mostly I just relent to whatever she says, and sometimes I actually do what she asks and sometimes I don't, but I rarely ever fight with her about it. also, I'm still torn up about what she said to me last monday night. I'll recap, in case you don't remember. "I don't know why I expect you to tell me, it's not like you tell me anything, anyways." ouchh. that stung, and I think that the sting is just getting infected. brutal.

for supper, we had Pizza 73 pizza and wings. it was so yummy. I had been craving wings for a few weeks now, even though I always feel sorta sick to my stomach after eating them. whatever. the wings are worth it. and before you all think I'm totally unhealthy, we do eat at home quite often, I just only feel like posting about the take out food we eat, cuz it's much more exciting than our "Fish of the Week" or "Something Other Than Chicken" meals. lol.

I've been watching more episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer all day. I'm kinda sad though, cuz I'm on the last disc (I only have Season One), and I can't afford to buy another season. well, maybe I could, but I'd have to go to Wal-Mart to look, and I seriously doubt that anyone would take me. esp since I asked T to take me to the bank and the dollar store about five hours ago, and she hasn't mentioned anything about it since. she did, however, randomly give me a dollar after supper, just cuz "it was in her pocket". totally random, but definitely not unwelcome. :)

I've been chewing an insane amount of gum all weekend, and I just bit a huge chunk of my cheek, which hurts like a mother. seriously. it hurts so much, and so does my jaw and my head, lol. I just love the taste of a fresh piece of bubble gum. :) I'm a total dork, but whatever. also, I constantly need something to chew, or I have trouble concentrating (esp in school) and I'll end up chewing my pens and pencils to pieces. :/

and so, I still haven't talked to the ex. since friday night, when we had that not-even-ten-minute phone-conversation, which in all honesty, was mostly him talking about how drunk he's been all week, and me just placating him. and the fact that he saw Sharon at his work, so he was acting like a tool bcuz he "doesn't care what she thinks of him". he actually does, but he tries to play it off as he doesn't, bcuz he's trying to be all tough. he's not. I know him much better than he seems to think, and he's not tough. he's not cool. he's just kind of, afraid, I suppose. aren't we all though? ugh, ugh, ugh. I just want him to make up his mind. some days, he's all affection and chatter. all he wants is me, and he'll call and we can talk for hours. and then other days, he's just withdrawn, non-responsive, and it seems like he wants nothing to do with me. we can go days without talking, and then as soon as he starts being affectionate and giving me attention, all of my anger goes to mush. it gets locked away until the other half of him comes out again. it's like having major feelings for Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde! it totally sucks. :(

I haven't talked to Sabrena in ages. I wonder how she is and what she's up to. I'm still waiting on her letter, but don't want to say anything, bcuz my letter took about six months to get to her, whereas it's only been about four since she got mine. maybe if I haven't received it yet in July, then I'll ask. I'm always afraid to ask about things like that, cuz I don't want her to get mad at me, or think I'm an awful person.

anyways.
I have to have a shower and think about going to bed.
I might watch some more Buffy before bed.
have a good night, darlings, ♥
and keep updated. :)